Day 126 (Zero):

Best tea ever…
Suzi adds maple syrup from a mason jar in which contains a vanilla bean for a hint of vanilla flavoring. This is brilliant! I wish I had thought of this!

So…I asked for that close friend’s answer to the question I had asked her in that love letter I wrote. For those who did not read the blog early on, I wrote a 12 page letter (small pages) to a close friend asking if she could get back to me with the answer of exclusively dating when I had finished the Appalachian Trail. I knew she was as eager as me. She wanted to tell me. I just mistook her eagerness as mutual emotions because there is only so much you can say without giving the way you feel about someone over text or phone.

I wanted the answer to essentially end my suffering of not knowing. As mentioned previously, I could not stop thinking of her and it was getting to the point where my thoughts were even annoying me. I also was mentally planning on being with her over any other scenario without truly considering the scenario without her.

Welp, I received my requested answer…throat tightened. I kept repeating in my head…where did I go wrong?…even though I knew perfectly well there was always that slight possibility she would not be interested. The weight in my throat got heavier. I was crushed and in shock. The world that I had envisioned and had hoped for would no longer be.

David taking me along the ride to take out the trash/recycling…

Then as time passed by, a weight lifted off my shoulders. I realized the benefit I have gained from obtaining this information at this moment, the bright side one could say. I get to hike through these roller coaster of emotions and work through them on trail. I could not be in a better place. Could you imagine me finding out at the end? I may not remember the hike for the hike. I am very thankful I did this when I did, to face my shit now and get over her.

I would like to mention that Suzi and David Madison were extremely kind when I had been going through these emotions. It was authentic. No offense to anyone prior, but this was the most welcoming stay on the entire trail. I just wish I could have given more of my energy to them from the trail while I was with them for the weekend. During my time here, I was lucky enough to indulge on Suzi’s phenomenal cooking. I wish I took more photos!

Here are the jars of jelly she made:

I believe she was letting me eat the film she had scraped from the top.  Comment if I am wrong.

Her snacks too…they are ah just ha.  I was very eager to learn from her.
She made the salsa for this.

After David’s son, Danny showed me his motorcycle, he invited me back to a fire pit gathering. I did not stay long because of my sleeping habits, but long enough to witness a friend of his shooting a fish with a BB gun…did I mention on the first shot? He gutted it and then promptly stuck it on a stick to cook on the fire to I assume eat, but the smell of the fish when it was cooked indicated that it may have been sick.