LoneGrowth

Day 79 (Mile 1040.9 – 1046.2):

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Today was quite the short day.

Spent the majority of the morning editing my blog. There were a lot of incomplete days with just notes and yes it has been hanging over my head.  As I push for bigger miles and open up more with people at camp, keeping with the blog (even though the blog is for me) is getting harder. I may stop or at least not put as much effort as I usually do.

I told the woman I am have been talking with and like that I would be in the area for July 4th. I honestly expected her to be excited to see me, but to my surprise that was not the case.  Karen was happy to see me when she visited and we are just close friends. Plus, Karen and I do not talk every town, like this girl and I do.  Yes, I am a little hurt but at least I know that persisting is pretty much futile.  I may not be right but I have a hunch. She met someone. Humorous though because this is exactly what I was worrying about, two weeks ago when I sensed something was different.  This feeling was one of the reasons I wanted to get off the trail to be close to her. Yes, I have felt I have received everything I wanted out of the trail, but there was more that I simply did not want to believe. As for the future, I don’t think I’ll stop talking with her, but will certainly start being more serious about living a life without her. Yes, I already made plans, but I have not yet mentally prepared myself, for I have been without doubt most of the time based on her reciprocating behavior she is (or at least was) interested.

Family suprised to see me. Apparently, my Mom had planned the suprise, not informing anyone else that I would be home for the Holiday.

To end the night Michael drove me to Walmart for a free pint of ice cream (Mom gave me a coupon).  Oh yeah, Michael shot off some fireworks too before I headed to bed.

Side Note:
Song stuck in my head: Harrison Storm – Change It All

 

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